Power without Memory

Of Course, God Is NOT A Woman. Look Around!

I’ve been thinking a lot about gaslighting. Not the kind that leaves your phone battery drained after another apology text you didn’t owe. I mean the societal kind. The one where women are asked to prove pain that’s generational. The kind where we’re told the house is on fire, and while we’re trying to escape, someone from the window yells, “It’s not even that hot.”

Let’s talk about the women at the window.

I grew up with women who showed up to work despite their wombs being torn apart by pain. Who raised children while silently being children themselves. I’ve watched women turn down the ignition of dreams not because they didn’t want them, but because dreaming too much made them “unstable.” I’ve been told that freedom is a phase and that feminism—feminism—is the reason society is falling apart.

Recently, a woman I once admired—Nora Fatehi—said, “I think feminism fucked up our society completely.” She called it a “dog race,” blamed it for anxiety, and romanticized the idea of gender roles as a natural order. You know, the good old “he earns, she nurtures” routine. She even said this idea of not needing anybody—this idea that a woman could be self-sufficient—was, essentially, nonsense.

Now, I could write 5,000 words debunking her logic alone. But that’s not the point. Because what shocks me more than her words is how common this story is: women who benefited from other women’s revolutions, then turned around and said, “It’s not that deep.”

Let me be clear: this blog is not a call-out. It’s a reckoning. One that makes space for contradictions, but not for betrayal. One that allows you to evolve, but not to gaslight. One that understands your discomfort, but doesn’t excuse your denial. I know these women went through the same gaslighting but this is a call for unlearning if not that then understanding the importance of your influence and maybe then retrospecting .

So no, this isn’t about hating anyone. But it is about naming what hurts. And maybe even try to make people understand the value of their influence.

The Convenience of Denial

Another woman at the window: Nirmala Sitharaman, India’s Finance Minister. When asked about patriarchy, she said something along the lines of: “It can’t stop anyone. Don’t make it your excuse.” She then cited herself, Indira Gandhi, and Kalpana Chawla as examples.

Which is ironic, because the fact that you can count them on one hand is the very evidence of patriarchy. Exceptionalism is not representation. You can’t use your own rare survival as proof that the system isn’t rigged.

There’s nothing noble about being the exception if you won’t make it easier for others to belong.

The Hypocrisy of Post-Freedom Morality

Then there’s Sana Khan, who after years in entertainment, decided to walk away from the industry and embrace her faith. That’s her choice, and I respect that. What I don’t respect is when she shames others for not doing the same. She has publicly questioned how a man could “allow” his wife to show her shoulders.

That’s not choice. That’s moral policing with lipstick on.

Feminism is not about the burqa or the bikini. It’s about the freedom to choose either without being punished, publicly humiliated, or told you’re less of a woman for it.

You don’t get to reach freedom and then guard the gates.

On the same lines, I recently saw this woman talking about embracing her child who was born after she CHOSE to have hime after being raped. I respect that but you CHOSE and you can’t shame other people for doing the same thing CHOOSING.

Protection That Smothers

Now let’s talk about Smriti Irani. A woman in power who declined to advocate for period leave, allegedly to protect women from being excluded from hiring pools. And while I understand the intention, it’s still misplaced.

Because true protection isn’t about restricting rights so others won’t misuse them—it’s about building systems that can’t be misused.

By trying to mother us, she took away our fight. We don’t need safety nets that keep us from flying. We need parachutes for when we land.

If there is anything , we as woman have do on daily basis is FIGHT for everything, we can do it , don’t take away our chance and our choice of fighting.

The Global Echo

This isn’t just India. This is everywhere.

• Margaret Thatcher, the “Iron Lady,” once famously said, “I owe nothing to women’s lib.” The first woman PM of the UK, but a staunch anti-feminist who never appointed another woman to her Cabinet.

• Camille Paglia, a cultural critic, has argued that women secretly want male dominance. Her critique of feminism often sounds more like a defense of patriarchy than a call for reform.

• Phyllis Schlafly, the woman who led the charge against the Equal Rights Amendment in the U.S., built her platform on the very freedoms she tried to deny other women.

• Even Candace Owens, a modern example, has ridiculed feminism while simultaneously building a public career that would have been impossible without it.

• And let’s not forget Saira Khan, a UK reality TV star who said she “no longer wants to associate with the term feminist” because it “divides women.”

These are not women without talent. These are women without gratitude.

Feminism Isn’t Man-Hating. Let’s Shut That Down.

Man-hating isn’t feminism. It’s a personal grudge, not a political ideology.

Feminism isn’t about making men small. It’s about making the space bigger for everyone—yes, even for the men who were told they couldn’t cry, couldn’t parent, couldn’t choose art over finance.

If you think feminism is extreme, maybe you’ve only ever seen extreme patriarchy being challenged.

Also ‘man- hating’ , again an unbelievable narrative, that in no world is true or severe, because is feminism a.k.a equality ‘hating’ or raping, degrading, hurting, shaming ‘ hating’, but we were made to believe and act out on it.( another blog right)

The Anger You See is Just Exhaustion in Disguise

We’re not angry because we’re radical. We’re angry because we’re tired. We’re tired of having to prove that harassment exists. That ambition isn’t arrogance. That safety isn’t a privilege. That the world doesn’t become fair just because one woman won a seat at the table.

And in this exhaustion, we still keep showing up.

We build blogs. We whisper truths into late-night DMs. We argue with loved ones because we love them. We don’t want to cancel these women. We want them to remember where they came from.

The Women Who Remembered

Thankfully, some do.

Women like Shabana Azmi, Ratna Pathak Shah, and Naseeruddin Shah (yes, men too) who speak truth to power, who don’t shy away from naming the systems that oppress us. Women like Rihanna, who paused her Super Bowl moment to remind the world that working while pregnant is radical. Women like Zahra Lari, the first Emirati figure skater to compete in a hijab, who made the Olympics bend a rule, not her spirit.

These are women who didn’t become gatekeepers after getting free.

The Personal Is Always Political

I once spoke to a girl who told me she wanted a government job because eventually, she’d have to “settle into household things.” She was educated, free, travelled the world. But even she believed that passion had a shelf life. That stability—not growth—was the safest dream.

And I understood. Because it’s easier to be overworked than to be mistrusted for doing too little.

It’s easier to conform than to be called difficult.

But just because something is easier doesn’t mean it’s fair.

If You Can’t Be Loud, Be Honest

To all the women who’ve made it: your survival is not proof that patriarchy is over. It’s proof that you were strong in spite of it.

To all the women still fighting: your anger is not extremism. It’s testimony.

And to those reading: if you can’t be loud, be honest. If you can’t change the world, at least don’t lie to it.

It can’t be taken lightly anymore, the fight is going on forever and it will go on forever but we can’t just sit thinking we won . We won because someone cut off her breast, someone was burnt alive , someone sacrificed her everything for us to have our everything . So, we matter each one of us , each one our words and each of one the ‘norm’ we choose to shut up about.